I check my facebook page 7 times a day even though I hate the thought of social media
Open your encyclopaedia
I need to take myself away and discover the need and yeah
Im saying I want a world without it
sometimes I want to chuck my phone away and not have to think about it
if im liked or not or whether im like like liked
Or whether the person who does like me
out of the 78 likers on my page knows that they are participating in brutal scrunity,
Yes this may not be new to me
but I want to tell you truthfully
That the way in which our world now works is beginning to ruin me
Welcome to the world of nobody has any fucking idea who the fuck I am
I wanna be a lamb,
I feel like I know everybody and everybody knows me
but on the surface of a superficial water and it haunts me
cos when you look into the reflection you see whats there
and you can like it or love it or be angered or shocked or upset by it but its not you giving that reaction it’s not even an introduction of the person you are or they are
and like a mask we portray our fake feelings and an image that makes us feel accepted
or even rejected
and we let this be a judgement of the person weve elected
as a site for our eyes and pleasures
forgetting the treasures
of what is truly knowing somebody
I want somebody to dive in the water
Go deeper behind the surface
To give our lives a purpose
What happened to talking and meeting
Not greeting me with a
‘im friends with her on facebook’
Youre not my friend let me tell you that
Youre no friend of mine and I am not of yours
Ive seen you walking down the corridoors
and tried to smile and wave and like you in the real world but you pass me by
And I don’t remember the reason why
this became socially acceptable
For you to message me in another world
And comfort me with typed out words
The way this works just seems abserd
If you wont even look me in the eye in real life
This world is now the priority
If you wanna talk me at least call me
that’s where I feel like a fool see
I get angry with the idea of texting somebody Yet I do it
and im lost in this world of translucent feeling
what I type and talk is a true reflection and to me it has real meaning
But im attatching myself to a piece of tin
A metal lover, and its wearing me thin
I know it’s the way things are today but theres a real sadness in my heart that I feel
Everyday
And it makes me so inclined to say
‘fuck this life. Fuck whay you are doing to my brain. I want to move and destroy any means of communication’
because god only knows I would then realise my validation
and I could learn to meet people in the real way we were meant to,
connect combine and preach and vent to,
remember parts of your faces,
your expressions and your eye colour and how you move around spaces
without facebook reminding me that theyre quite clearly blue
just like your mother and your brother,
whos just recently broken up with his girlfriend of two years,
and it seems lately hes drinking beer through the tears
and ive seen hes liked a few girls photos recently
so that must mean hes ready to move on see
Its like hurt doesn’t really exsist online
it’s a fabricated love Its entertainment to the outsider of the reality of our lives
A humiliating break up full of sorrow and lies
becomes heightened to the point of a theatrical show
A thousand people sitting in the front row
Judging and consoling from their seats
Strangers and onlookers waiting to compete
for the next online relationship
The photos and poses,
the trips to rome and the rubbing of noses
Its not films that make us expect too much
Its facebook and Instagram and all that other stuff
That we have created and allowed to take over ,
Make sure you get that photo of the white cliffs of dover
As if it wasn’t beautiful enough you contour the view
Edit and refurbish people, places and you
There are mountains and beaches and places to see
But you’ve edited them to shit and now that’s ruined that for me
I feel my breath taken when I see natures view
There so many places I haven’t been to
Im happy up at the cathedral and I feel lucky to just see the moon
I appreciate all people and places and things
Because ive never felt lucky enough to deserve those things
and if the day comes that I achieve my dreams
of seeing any part of the world that makes my heart sing
It could be a small bench at the top of steep hill that captures the sun the moon and the birds and I would be truly lost for words
So when I see these posts of places that provoke a greater online reaction that that in the real moment
It just makes my heart shatter
For if I had wanted to experience the world this way
Then adventure would not matter
I know that I speak for the latter but I don’t know who I am
Because ive seen the photos, edited and illusionalised
And I have scorned at with these eyes
Because I envy and I fall in love
With sights, I couldn’t even dream of
But you take them and use them as a show
For likes and comments that tell you youre an inspo
Please like me, like like like me
But actually don’t, I want you to love me
For me
Be with me
Hear me see me hold me enjoy me
Because Jodie on Instagram that isn’t me
You can fall in love with that instantly
But then youll drift from me
And the girl with friend in common will post a photo of herself in perfect lighting with perfect clothes and a perfect frame
And we get sucked into this stupid game
Where were not supposed to feel like this is what is to blame
For our insecurities and sadness towards ourselves
Because no longer can we be wholly adored
When if fragments of ourselves are auctioned online for everyone to see
And your partner can look at, message and admire anybody in the world
At the click of a button, the swipe of a screen
And chances are they are better looking than you
So how am I supposed to say I don’t feel like fucking shit when it has become normal to be happy in a relationship
but respectfully follow like and pre other peoples photos,
Posing in bikinis the next best thing to pornos
And with this how could we ever compete
Unless we all decided to delete
To live
To wander
To dream
I know it would be obscene
To expect that to be something possible
The likelihood is inprobable
But im just exressing that I am sad
Im the happiest sad person
Because im happy I recognise this
And although I give in,
Im constantly sad until I meet somebody for the first time not over social media
Im just saying that I am sad
It all makes me sad
I feel and I feel and I feel and I want to continue to feel
With all integrity
I don’t want that taken away from me
From insecurity
Caused by those who intimidate me
With fakeness and portrayel and photos that get to me
And travellers diaries that cause me so much envy
They’ve done it so now why would we
Lets not do everything for popularity
Lets do it for purity
God knows lets do what we want to do
Chosing to lose time instead of doing what I like to do
And looking at a screen rather than what is right in front of you
I tend to daydream about a place where society doesn’t throttle you
And if im starting to besottle you
Then that’s good
You wanna wake up everyday and check your facebook page before checking that the people you love are okay then go on
But which one will you miss more when theyre gone